Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
