i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
