He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
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