I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Pińatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
