I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
