well you can't waste a boner
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
