drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
