please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
