You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize