What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
