do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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