just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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