Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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