no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
