I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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