ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
