If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
