did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
