That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
