I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
