We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
