I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
