I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
