Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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