I didn't shave. On purpose
I will die if light touches me.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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