Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I just found a bag of teeth...
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
