I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
