You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
