so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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