i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
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