remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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