Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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