oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
My bed smells like the plague
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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