Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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