So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Damn victory sex feels great
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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