Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
