just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
