I don't think brook has ever known best
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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