Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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