I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
