Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
