someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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