she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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