i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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