My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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