I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
