That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
