what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
