i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Just high enough for therapy.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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