He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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