When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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