Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize