you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
