ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
