I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
