her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize