I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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