the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
