Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
