i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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