Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
