All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
